Thursday, January 20, 2011
Be My Valentine Marriage Challenge: Week 1: Encouraging Your Husband
Once again, I'm following along with Courtney's Challenge from Women Living Well.
"Week 1 starts TODAY! Look for ways to praise your husband verbally. Praise him in front of the kids, friends, family, co-workers, on facebook, tweet it - get praise out anyway you can! Try to mention something noteworthy he has done - in his role as provider, father, husband, lover, or friend. If the thought of trying to come up with one terrifies you, then pray right now that God will give you new eyes to see your husband as God does. Then open your mouth and say something kind and uplifting to your husband today and tomorrow and the next day until Valentine's Day arrives"
Wow, how easy is it to say something critical, yet sometimes so hard to come up with something nice to say? In our homes, this can be detrimental! Every time I read Courtney's blog, I feel as though she is reminding me to encourage my husband, to build him up. And what a difference it makes! It sounds goofy sometimes, to say things like "my big strong man," luckily for me, my husband and I are just plain goofy, so its a little easier for me.
Our hearts are what it comes down to, because out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks, so our first step is to get our hearts right, focus on the good in your husband; there is some, whether or not he is a believer, God still sees good in him and considers him precious!
The problem is, when we verbally criticize or yell or nitpick at our husbands, their feelings are just hurt, their pride is damaged; they feel disrespected. (if you have not read Love and Respect yet, I would encourage you to do that during February)
One thing that can really help (mentioned in Love and Respect) is to write your husband a letter about what you respect in him. Husbands respond to respect, I wrote my husband a card when I first read the book, and it is still on our desk today!
Another thing we love to do at our house is leave post-it notes around (especially with how many I got free with couponing this year!) with notes on them. Sometimes pictures. My husband once wrote a note thanking me for making his lunch so he could get big and strong and drew a cartoon-y picture of a muscle man! I'm going to take some time this week to write my husband some post-its, and all month long, focus on verbally encouraging my husband.
One thing that deflates my husband is when he does things around the house and I don't notice. because of this, I am in the habit of no matter how long my day was, I take a slow walk from the car into the house and look for things he has done (taken the recycling to the center, washed the dishes, organized his shoes, made the bed) and simply give him a big hug, kiss him like I mean it, and sincerely thank him specifically for the things he has done that day.
What does your husband need encouragement about? What things can you praise him for? How can you display your respect for him?
Link up if you're joining the challenge! And make sure you visit Courtney's site for more lovely ladies.