Monday, July 18, 2011

Choosing to Cheat

Today's topic in the Media Monday series is:
Media and Our Marriage

Well as I sat down to think about this, I thought about a lot of conversations that have been had in our home about media.

"What are you doing on the computer?"
"Oh you know, just stuff"
"Oh, okay, well, I'm going to be over here"

Usually the one who is busy (which has been both of us) is on a laptop, blackberry, smartphone, etc. The other person just wants their spouse's attention, all of which is consumed in the technology.

As I prepared to write this I asked my husband what he thought about media and marriage. It's not good, he said. And he's right, for the most part, techonology steals attention from our spouse. In his book, Choosing to Cheat, Andy Stanley explains that "cheating" by definition is neglecting one thing by choosing another. Cheating is not necessarily a bad thing he explains int he book, whenever we choose to spend time doing one thing, we cheat another thing.

When we choose to spend time just sitting with our spouse, we cheat time that may have been spent cleaning

When we choose to exercise, we cheat the TV out of time with us

When we choose to read our Bibles and spend time with the Lord, we cheat time the time we spend on facebook

But when we choose to be absorbed in media (facebook, phone, ipad, ipod, tv) we inevitably cheat time from our families.

This means that we need to set up boundaries for things that aren't as important and make sure that our time goes to our highest priorities. And honestly when we look at our priorities, most of us wouldn't rank facebook as our number 1.

If someone looks at your schedule, however, they should be able to tell what your priorities are... does it look accurate to what you want your priorities to be or does it look something like this:

1) Texting
2) Googling things on the internet
3) Blogging
4) Facebook
5) Online Games
6) TV
7) Spouse
8) God

Is your schedule upside down?

But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Matthew 6:33 ESV

The Bible tells us that God should be our number 1 priority, does our schedule reflect this?

My challenge to myself and you all is to make your schedule reflect your priorities, don't let media top the list, it's





How is the media affecting your marriage?

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  1. Well said Holly! I once heard someone say you could look at your checkbook (or bank statement) and see where your priorities are. I think that without a doubt that we can look at our history tab and see the same thing.

    I have been working very hard since my youngest was born last August to keep tabs on how I spend my time. It has been a very eye opening experience and totally made me re-evaluate how I spend the 24 hours I am given every day.

  2. So true! I'm happy I came upon this post,bc just yesterday,I was talking with my sister about how what we THINK our priorities are and what they ACTUALLY are,are sometimes very different. I looked for a Facebook share button...I think a lot of people might benefit from your post:)